4.3 - Restoring Balance and Margin 101

Hello from Bri @ Bri Books! Today's episode is a solo show. We still have 202 days left in 2018. Let's make it count by restoring margin and balance to our lives, shall we? Here are the ways I'm working to restore balance, and the podcasts hosted by women of color that are helping me along the way.  00:57 - As of June 12,2018, we’ll have 202 days left in 2018. That means as much as we have behind us, we have ahead of us and more. 1:10 - If you still get that cringing falling part feeling, don’t worry, it just means you’re human. 1:30 - Before we go further, thanks for being here. Subscribe to newsletter at bribookspod.com/newesletter. 1:35 - This episode is about restoring margin. What’s margin? According to Pastor Darryl Dash, margin is “a little reserve that you’re not using up. You’re not stretched to the limit. You’re not going from one meeting to the next with no space between. Margin is the space between my load and my limit.” 1:57 - The only reason I know about margin because we had a sermon at The Journey Church about restoring balance and allowing God to restore balance. The concept of margin came up. 2:16 - It struck a nerve because I acknowledge that I, like most of us, am on overload. 2:20 - Let’s break down margins, think a piece of paper. The standard 1” margin would be setting a margin around your life, saying “Everything outside of this isn’t available.” 2:40 - Sometimes I live on the 0.2” margin, and I'll let procrastination/ anxiety stop me. 3:06 - When it comes to restoring margin, I get a little excited. To that end, I'll be sharing the ways I've been trying to restore margin to my own life, and a few of the podcasts that have been with me along the way. I’m gonna chat about it with a few podcasts I've been enjoying and have been crucial in helping me notice patterns when I Don't have margin, and make those non-negotiable. 3:36 - Nobody has to tell you how busy you are. We have the lists--we know the XYZ, and somewhere we’re supposed to fit in the ‘YOU’. 3:48 - Margin is basically breathing room. The sermon spoke to me, and I realized I was running on my own steam instead of the Lord’s, and I wasn’t focusing where I was supposed to focus. 4:07 - For me, that meant instead of focusing on one aspect of a project, I’m weighing all 10 aspects equally at the same time and weight, which means I'm waffling and moaning about the idea of doing instead of getting down to it. 4:30 - One of the 2 places I've started creating margin is when it comes to taking care of myself. I find margin in my life when I Devote time to caring for myself. 4:42 - I've mentioned before on this podcast that when my anxiety is in full swing, the first thing I Attack is my body. Here I Am, i’d fall asleep after a day of work, evening of volunteering, and i’d forget to brush my teeth, fall asleep with the lights on, wake up in the middle of the night to do what I should've done hours ago, because I Didn't have margin in my life for taking care of myself. 5:15 - “The Naked Beauty” podcast  really got through to me. It’s a podcast hosted by Brooke DeVard, and it’s “an unfiltered talk about beauty trends, tips and products” hosted by Brooke Devard. What Takeaway is that the bare minimum is not allowed. 5:40 - what I've learned from podcast is that when things go wrong, we can’t make ourselves optional. But finding margin and making myself not an option but a requirement--for me, that means setting a timer, 20 minutes Ican take care of everything skincare and oral hygiene. Setting that timer and making it a non-negotiable has helped me to restore margin and take care of myself. Here’s a link to the podcast. I can give that to myself at least every day. Building that margin in and making it a non-negotiable has helped me restore a sense of balance to my own life. 6:40 - The other way I've restored margin is by giving myself a little bit of a break on my calendar. Does...

Close your eyes (metaphorically), and remember the last time you felt “behind.” That looming, vague emotion that makes us believe there’s a huge gap between where we are and where we *ought* to be. Remember? Good. Open your eyes (metaphorically, still), and say aloud (literally this time,) “I’m not behind, I’m right on time, and the best is still to come.” Feeling better?

Today’s episode is a solo show, all about how I’m working to restore margin in my life, and the podcasts hosted by women of color that are helping me get (and stay!) within the margins. Nobody has to tell you how busy you are. The lists, the chores, the X the Y the Z, and then there’s the YOU. But this year, I'm remembering that you take you everywhere you go. Therefore, margin is key.

What’s Margin?

Margin as defined by Pastor Daryl Dash: “Margin is a little reserve that you’re not using up. You’re not stretched to the limit. You’re not going from one meeting to the next with no space in between. Margin is the space between my load and my limit.”

I first learned about margin from a recent sermon at The Journey Church about finding balance by establishing margin. I knew the message was juts *meant* for me. I’m including my notes from the message in the Bri Books newsletter!

Here are the two ways I'm working to restore margin in my life, and the podcasts hosted by women of color that are helping me get (and stay!) inside the margins!

Finding Margin In Taking Care of Myself

When my anxiety is in full-swing, self-care is the first to go--I devalue my own body first. I'll fall asleep exhausted and unfulfilled, and some nights I’d forget to brush my teeth and perform my skincare routine. “The Naked Beauty” podcast  really got through to me. It’s a podcast hosted by Brooke DeVard, and it’s “an unfiltered talk about beauty trends, tips and products.” What I learned from podcast is that, when things go wrong, I can’t make myself optional.

Finding Margin In My Calendar

Let's think: Do you have regular commitments? Of course you do. And then, there’s the one-off engagements, the appointments, and what I like to call “Life Admin.” Maybe you only have three prime hours in the evening and morning around a work or school schedule.

When my schedule’s out of whack and I'm too busy to recharge let alone do the work I'm supposed to do, I realize there’s a cliff for me. I find myself beyond my margin, limit and load when I'm not impeccable with my word. The “Side Hustle Pro” podcast episode hosted by Nicaila Matthews Okome featuring Charreah Jackson got me thinking about being impeccable with my word. “Side Hustle Pro” is a podcast that helps creative entrepreneurs grow their passions into money makers. Listening to the most recent episode featuring Charreah Jackson hustle pro restores the reality that we control our time and we control the projects we want to give energy to. Choosing one over the other doesn't mean you can’t accomplish both. It’s just a decision about where you choose to put your energy.

What I love about the conversation featuring “Boss Bride” author Charreah Jackson is that it reminded me of the old adage Ilove--you can do everything, just not at the same time. Charreah understand sand has devoted her time to helping people understand what they can do, so they can do something else. I can’t wait to read Charreah’s book!

I've had a good time recording this episode. I can’t wait to read together for July, “Boss Bride: The Powerful Woman’s Playbook for Love and Success” by Charreah Jackson. If you’ve already read boss bride, tweet me with #bribooks. I hope you’ve enjoyed this style of podcast. If you're’ into these deep dive episodes of Bri Books, let me know.

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